Looking back on past journal entries can really be a blessing, seeing how God has worked in your life since it was penned. However, today was not such an occasion for me. Looking back proved to bring great conviction to my soul. This entry is from 2011.
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So, I am reflecting back over the events of today, and I have to admit that God showed me just how “one dimensional” I have become when it comes to my quiet time.
In November, I had been challenged in a book I’d read to do five specific things throughout the course of one year. One of the things was to commit to read through the Bible again, cover to cover. So, I finished doing that the other day.
As I was beginning my study time this morning, I felt kind of “out of sync”. That’s the only way I can describe it. Well, I whispered a prayer to the Lord, asking Him to show me why I was feeling this way. He was very quick to reveal to me that, during the course of the past six months, while reading through the Bible, my times of really concentrated prayer were sorely lacking. I mean, I prayed; but I didn’t spend as much focused attention on talking to Him and listening to Him speak back to me. OUCH!
I have been journaling my prayer time with God for years. It has been such an enriching time for me. Because my mind wanders, I have found it so much easier to focus on what I’m “saying” to God when I’m actively writing it down, rather than having a kind of “randomness” take place while I’m just “thinking” my prayers.
I also love how Abba knows how distracted I can become, as thoughts race through my mind about things that need doing. He has helped me so much to combat that by suggesting I always have a notepad handy to write down the things that “pop into” my mind during this time. The enemy of my soul is very active in trying to draw my focus away from God by bringing to my mind things that I need to do. So, when Satan interrupts my time with God, I simply write down the thing he “reminded me of”, knowing that I don’t have to worry that I’ll forget it because it’s written down. I love how God helps me protect my time with Him.
As I sit here pondering the positives of prayer journaling, another blessing I see is that it provides a written record of what I’m talking to God about. Then as God speaks back to me, I can go back and record the answers He’s given me in response to my prayers. It’s been VERY cool. Definitely a faith-building tool for me.
After God told me that my prayer life has been quite weak, I finished up my quiet time and headed out to have brunch with a friend. I usually have K-love playing in the car, but today during my commute, a song came on that was truly getting on my last nerve. (pretty bad when it’s 10:00 a.m. and you’ve used up all your “nerves”, LOL) Anyway, I switched the station to Word-fm and began listening to what the radio pastor was teaching.
I was floored that he was preaching on prayer. He made a statement that had such an impact on me that I can’t remember what he said beyond it. The statement was, “Since Christ left the earth, He has been seated at the right hand of the Father. And what do you think He’s been doing? He’s been interceding for the saints.” Oh my word!! Since the time Jesus has ascended to heaven, He’s been PRAYING for me!!
I arrived at the restaurant a little early, so I went in and got a table. I took out the book I’ve been reading, along with the notebook I’d been taking notes in. When I opened the book to where I’d left off, I couldn’t believe it! The title of the section where my bookmark was, was entitled, “Imitating the Prayer Life of Jesus”.
I sat there completely dumbfounded and incredibly humbled. I opened the book and eagerly began to read. I mean, God was seriously trying to teach me something today to bring the topic of prayer before me three times within the course of 90 short minutes.
Things God pointed out to me today:
- While on earth, Christ communicated with the Father as every other man does…with prayer.
- Prayer is not a one-way street with us just doing the talking, but with us listening as well.
- Because Jesus was in constant communion with the Father, He always knew just what to say to people He came in contact with, and the things He said had an eternally significant impact.
- We need to have a keen sensitivity to the hearts of men and the heart of the Father, if we are to impact the kingdom of God. And this only comes as God’s words flow from His heart through our mouth.
Questions to self:
- While Jesus was on earth, He was in constant communion with the Father; so who am I to think that I can get through even one day without, as Paul taught, “praying continually” (1 Thessalonians 5:16)?
- Jesus, who was God in human form, only spoke what the Father told him to say (John 12:49-50), who am I to think I can do anything of eternal significance apart from continued communion with God…i.e., prayer?
- If you could ONLY say what the Spirit directs you to say, how quiet would you be?
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Twelve years have passed since this journal entry. I am so thankful for how faithfully (and persistently) God taught me that day. I am thankful to the Spirit of God that He opened my spiritual eyes to see how God was ordering my footsteps so He could teach me. And while I am thankful and blessed, I am also very convicted. My prayer life still needs amping up. Those “questions to self” that I asked myself that evening in 2011 need to be considered again, and considered often.
I find myself yet again thankful that God cares enough to continue to challenge me to become more like His Son.