“Yet for this reason I found mercy,
so that in me the foremost [of sinners], 
Jesus Christ might demonstrate
His perfect patience as an example or pattern 
for those who would believe in Him for eternal life”.
~~1 Timothy 1:16~~ 

This verse really spoke to my heart this morning.  The Spirit really drove home the fact that through Jesus I found mercy.  So why is it so hard to extend mercy and grace to myself?  My feelings of shame and self-loathing are not only self-destructive stealers of peace, they are rooted in the fact that my thoughts are centered around and focused on “myself”, when they should be centered around and focused on God.  

In Jesus I found mercy SO THAT Christ can use my life to demonstrate His perfect patience to others who need Jesus.  I looked up “might demonstrate” in the Greek and it means to show, demonstrate, prove (whether by arguments or by acts). The verb “might demonstrate” is in the subjunctive mood and that is so important, because that mood indicates that the action has“possibility and potentiality”, depending on the circumstances.

I found mercy (done deal) so that my life “might demonstrate” (possibility or potentiality of happening).  PAUSE TO PONDER that.  Because I know that Jesus never changes, and I know that this “demonstration of mercy” only has the possibility or potential happening, then I have to acknowledge that “I am the variable”.  Oh my… 

This presents me with some questions… 

Will I choose to live in light of the mercy I have found?

Will I choose to take captive the thoughts that I am a worthless cause?

Will I choose to live in the light of who GOD says I am and not what my thoughts dictate?

Will I choose to live a life of transparency, so that when others see that I’m not perfect, they can also see that I belong to a merciful God who is patient with me as I grow?

Will I choose to acknowledge that any delay in the act of choosing IS choosing?

IT’S ALL ABOUT CHOICES